Another Chick Flick...

#7--Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

This premise could only have come from a woman, because guys, by and large, either don't go to reunions or don't care what people from high school think about them. Romy and Michele are two former schoolmates who have also been roommates for ten years after they graduated, and their lives are far from successful, they can't even get a date. As the 10-year class reunion approaches they try to do something to make an impression on other former schoolmates and finally decide to act as though they are very rich businesswomen who invented Post-Its. Needless to say, their lie is exposed and they have to endure the same torture form their classmates that they did in high school. However, it works out in the end, end of story. Mira Sorvino is pretty hot and the story's not bad.

And now, the line that every tortured soul from high school has wanted to say to his/her torturers:

Heather: Why are you tormenting me? Why don't you go f**k a sheep, or your sister, or YOURSELF? Braindead redneck asshole!

Today's musical selection:
Merle Haggard--Stay Here and Drink

They ought to...

...crucify this guy As Forrest Gump once said, "That's all I have to say about that."

Also, Jim for Cobra Commander!

On to today's Chick Flick:

#8--How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

And to think, Matthew McConaughey was once Wooderson. The plot of this woman-movie goes like this: Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive competing with two female co-workers for a major campaign for a diamond merchant. He cuts a deal with his competitors that the account is his if he can make a woman of their choice fall in love with him in 10 days. In comes Andie Anderson who, in turn, is writing a story on how to lose a guy in 10 days as a bet with her boss to be allowed to write more substantial stories. As each tries to accomplish the goal, mayhem ensues. Notable for a couple of things: Adam Goldberg and Thomas Lennon as McConaughey's co-workers and sidekicks and for the only, to my knowledge, movie appearance of the card game "Bullshit", a great Natureboys pastime. Oh, and I would have killed the dog for pissing on the poker table.

Semi-Memorable Quote (For a guy):
Thayer: That it?
Tony: That's it?
Ben: [points to purse on desk] That's it.
Tony: Have you looked inside?
Ben: No.
Thayer: Do you have an ethical problem with rifling through a woman's purse?
Ben: Uhh, yeah, I guess I do.
Tony: Well, it's hardly a purse, dude, it's more like a... clutch or something.
Ben: Guys, a woman's purse, alright, it's her secret source of power. Alright? There are many dark and dangerous things in there, that we, the male species, should know nothing about.

Today's Musical Selection:
Jerry Lee Lewis--Great Balls of Fire

I love incompetence...

...WTF?

You never met with him? He wasn't at home when you got there? Did it occur to you to hunt for this VIOLENT CRIMINAL instead of just filing some backdated reports and going on about your business? I have many questions about this, but I don't know where to begin. Anyway, on to the next entry in the Chick Flicks countdown:

#9--The Break-Up (2006)

The end of this movie pissed me off. That's why it is ranked as low as it is. Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau are funny as hell and Vincent D'Onofrio is funny in a weird way. The story is about two people who live together in a romantic relationship and gradually come to the conclusion that it's not working out between them because each wants something different than the other can or will give. I have a problem with the premise that anyone with a working Y Chromosome would allow a break-up with Jennifer Aniston to occur, but sometimes one must suspend disbelief. Plus points for blurry naked Jennifer Aniston.

Semi-Memorable Quote (for a guy)
Gary: What kind of bullshit move was that?
Brooke: I'm sorry, what? What happened?
Gary: Oh don't be coy with me. You sent that animal over here to attack me when I was hung over and weak.
Brooke: Oh no. Look, all I know is The Tone Rangers they needed some place to rehearse so I very clearly told Richard stay in my room, which you explained to me was my space to do with what I want.
Gary: Is that how you want to play it? Cause I'll play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, all night long, lady. Oh yeah. I'll call some guys from my neck of the woods. And we're not talking about, Brooke, about a couple of queens who know a few grapples. We're talking about Polacks that don't have a goddamn future. That's right. We can make shit real uncomfortable around here, and that's what we're going to do.

Brooke: Please, come on. You know what, you're just embarrassed because Richard kicked your ass.

Gary: Richard did not kick my ass. What Richard did was attack me when I was half asleep.

Brooke: Really, is that how you see it?

Gary: There's a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight. But I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower.

Today's Musical Selection:
Billy Joel--Only the Good Die Young

Back after a depressingly long interval...

...in which the pack managed to realize my worst fears. A nine game losing streak and the best player on the team "testing the waters" of the NBA draft. Great.

In terms of the movies lists, I've decided to go in a controversial direction. The next Top Ten list will be the Top 10 Chick Movies My Wife Has Forced Me to Watch (And, guys, you all know you've been in this boat with me). Remember, these movies will be reviewed from a thoroughly male perspective.

#10--The Notebook (2004)

The movie focuses on an old man reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. The movie flashes back and forth from the events of the story to the old guy reading it to the old woman. The old woman appears to have some Alzheimer's/dementia issues and seems to use the story as a focal point to keep her going. It became apparent to your average moron about halfway through the movie that the old guy is Noah and the old woman is Allie and he's reading to her so that she'll remember at least part of the story of their lives together. Not a bad story altogether, but it was played on HBO about 4,000 times per day for a while and I got tired of seeing it. Hotness factor was increased by the presence of semi-naked Rachel McAdams

Semi-memorable Quote (for a guy):

Duke: How's it hangin' Harry?
Harry: I keep trying to die, but they won't let me.
Duke: Well, you can't have everything.

Today's Musical Selection:
Jerry Lee Lewis--What Made Milwaukee Famous

Intense Irony...

...is that, by finishing last, we're in line to play two of the teams we've beaten this year. We play Miami on Thursday, and, if we win, we play Virginia Tech on Friday. Interesting...

On to the grand finale...

#1--Superman II (1980)

Even replacing a great director with a crappy one couldn't make this less than #1. Christopher Reeve reprises his role as Clark Kent/Superman and one of the great movie villains of all time makes his one and only appearance as Terence Stamp plays General Zod, released along with his compatriots from the Phantom Zone by a nuclear explosion in space. Thus, Superman has to deal with three Kryptonian supervillains, each of which has the same powers as he does. A great resolution resulting in the deaths of the Kryptonians and the destruction of the Fortress of Solitude just fits as the ending of a great movie.

Memorable Quote:
Superman: General, would you care to step outside?
General Zod: Come to me, son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!

Today's Musical Selection:
Kentucky Headhunters--Dumas Walker

#2 on the list...

...Batman Begins (2005)

This movie is just awesome. Based heavily on the Batman: Year One graphic novel, it explores the origins of the Dark Knight in truly dark fashion. We see Bruce Wayne traumatized by the deaths of his parents and searching for his identity through various trips abroad in an attempt to understand the criminal mind. His metamorphosis in Batman and his subsequent protection of Gotham City are something to behold. Christian Bale is great as Bruce Wayne/Batman and they finally found the right guy to play Alfred in Michael Caine. Best performance, however, goes to Liam Neeson as Henri Ducard/ Ra's Al-Ghul. Look for great small parts from Cilian Murphy as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow and Gary Oldman as James Gordon.

Memorable Quote:

Bruce Wayne: They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me.

Today's Musical Selection:
Warren Zevon--Werewolves of London

Since Flair obviously doesn't want it...

...maybe we should vote for this guy

On to today's comic book movie...

#3--Spider-Man 2 (2004)

One of the few sequels to ever best the original. Tobey Maguire returns in a story of losing one's desire and ability to be a hero. His struggles with his personal life and his role as Spider-Man drive the movie, but Alfred Molina puts into to orbit. His performance e as Dr. Otto Octavius gives us a great foil for the heroics of Spider-Man. James Franco as Harry Osborn, obsessed with avenging his father's death provides the impetus for Octavius. altogether, a more tightly scripted effort than the original with highs, lows, and a great discovery by Harry Osborn at the end.

Memorable Quote:

May Parker: He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.

Today's Musical Selection:
Johnny Horton--Battle of New Orleans

And the entertainment stretches on...

...but does anyone care?

Personally, I'm glad to see the Democratic primary season stretch on a little further. It allows them to tear one another apart before the general election in November. I'd prefer Hillary as the Democratic candidate, primarily because I think she's unelectable. Oh well, we'll see what happens as time rolls on. On to today's comic book movie:

#4--Superman (1978)

Another instance in which special effects had finally advanced to the point that a particular subject could finally be treated in a live-action film. Iconic performances from Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor, Marlon Brando as Jor-El, and Christopher Reeve as Big Blue himself propel this into the top 5. The writing in this movie is so tight that Brandon Routh stole several lines and mannerisms directly from 1978 for Superman Returns in 2006. Clark Kent's race with the train and Superman's turning time backward make this worthy of inclusion on anyone's list.

Memorable Quote:
Jor-El: [at the Fortress of Solitude] So, my son. Speak.
Young Clark Kent: Who am I?
Jor-El: Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton. Even though you've been raised as a human, you are not one of them. You have great powers, only some of which you have as yet discovered.

Today's Musical Selection:
Wings--Live and Let Die

So close...

...and yet so far away. Thanks to Mike for allowing my father and myself to enjoy what was a great game on Saturday. Just wish there had been two points difference. Anyway, on to the top 5 in comic book movies.

#5--Spider-Man (2002)

This was the first time that this character was able to be properly treated in a live-action format. The CGI is flawless and the script was relatively true to the comics, with some updates from the 1960's to the 2000's. Tobey Maguire was great as both Peter Parker and Spider-Man and Willem Dafoe was off the chart as the schizophrenic Green Goblin. Excellent movie and worthy of inclusion in the top 5.

Memorable Quote:
[last lines]
Peter Parker: [voiceover] Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: "With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man.

Today's musical selection:
The Eagles--Seven Bridges Road